Last March I was excited- I was turning 30, graduating from college, getting married in 3 months, and hoping to be pregnant by the end of the year. I wondered how I would feel about turning 30- would I be anxious, feel old…It turned out I was okay with it. I wrote this last year:
30 wow. And yes, I am ready.
Lately I have been reflecting on my past 15 or so years and marveling at all the ups and downs, lessons learned and taught, people who have come and gone…and stayed. Changes, growth, regrets…(not too many)! I am actually feeling happy-almost relieved to be turning 30. Ah, finally, out of “my 20’s”! Somehow 30 means being an adult more than anything else has so far. I think my 30’s will be my best years! My most successful years! My happiest in the moment and memory making years! My creative years…through art, life (babies), and in the world! Oh, and as a 30 year-old grown up woman, I’m going to dress beautifully (almost) every day!! Yep, I’m ready to embrace 30! Very ready!
Well, my 30th year started out really great! My mom and cousin Christina came to celebrate along with other friends, then Mike and Allison (bff) took me to Chicago to celebrate a new decade (best surprise present ever!)! We had a great trip! In May I graduated from IU- finally getting my Bachelors Degree! Then in June Mike & I got married! My 30th year was definitely off to a great start!
By August I could no longer ignore back pain that continued to worsen. By September I was in surgery, then recovery and out of work. It took many months of not feeling better and seeing a new doctor to realize I needed surgery again. Unfortunately, that surgery was scheduled only 2 weeks before my birthday. I was reflecting again on the past year and feeling pretty disappointed about how year 30 turned out- it was not at all what I had hoped for or expected. But sometimes we need those times, to remind us. I just couldn’t shake the thought that we had had more than our share of difficulty in a year- it was…hard- not working, facing challenges we didn’t expect, overcoming hardships…but here we are. I am still recovering from my second surgery, but I have had the chance to see what really matters- a fantastic husband, wonderful parents, caring friends- a very loving and supportive circle surrounding us!
March 15th 2011 started out with these thoughts:
And now I come to 31. I made it through this year first laughing, dancing and gliding, then crying, limping and stumbling. Now I am spending The Day in bed, in pain. But I did braid my hair put on make-up and “real clothes” before crawling back under the covers. The year of 30 had promise; actually I had put a lot of expectations into my 30th year…
And now a few weeks into being 31…I can see that no matter what comes my way- by choice or by chance- I can make the best of it! I can appreciate the people in my circle, I can take advantage of what I do have, and I can grow even when it feels like I’m stuck. I have spent my recovery time learning and expanding, visiting and appreciating. I still have hopes, plans, and goals, but I know better now to not set limits for myself. Everything will happen when it is time.
Turns out, my reflections on my 30th were right- these will be my best years- I just needed a break first. Time for that message to really sink in. I need to focus on what is important to me- family, friends, art, growth….oh, and dressing pretty everyday!
Make the most! Celebrate when you get the chance.
Happy April, here’s to a new month in 2011!